A friend stopped by last night who was having a rough day. It seemed like everything she tried to make happen simply fell apart. It was costing her time, money, and an inordinate amount of aggravation. She was at her wits’ end, and rightfully so.

What we ordinarily do at times like this is offer unhelpful platitudes like, “It’s going to be O.K.,” “Look on the bright side,” or my favorite, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” We mean well, but have you ever had someone bounce right back and say, “You’re absolutely right—I should look on the bright side, I never thought of that! I feel better already!” No, no one ever has and no one ever will. They need to sit in this discomfort until they can find their own way out, so to speak. We’ve all been in these shoes, right? I know I have.

We hate to see people struggle so, with the best of intentions, we offer “the bright side,” but is that what they need from us? Maybe there’s something better we could say, like “It’s okay to be scared,” or “I’m impressed by how you’re handling this,” or “I am here to help in whatever way is most helpful to you.” I learned last night that, “the bright side,” isn’t helping—it’s a place holder because we don’t know what to say when we really can’t necessarily help or make things better. Maybe these new statements will make our responses better as well as more helpful. I’m learning, too. No more “bright side.”

Let’s GO! WE GOT THIS!
Beth