This recent mindset shift really blew my mind, so I have to share so it with you so it can blow your mind, too. To start, I’ll need you to think about someone you really don’t like being around—I know, not the way you want to start the morning, but it will be really helpful in the end. This person likely doesn’t treat you very well. They might talk down to you, dismiss you, or maybe they’re even downright mean. What you have likely said or thought is, “I don’t like the way this person makes me feel!” And that would be spot on.

We want to blame them for their unacceptable behavior—they’re mean, they’re insensitive, they’re arrogant, and more, right? Well, maybe-ish. I will never excuse their behavior, but I always want to empower us. So what is it about what they said or did that got under our skin? Here is the shift: If we’ve said or thought, “I don’t like they way this person makes me feel,” then the “problem is within us and we need to do some soul searching as to why. To be clear: THEY are still a jerk, but WHY did that make you or me feel badly? What is our wound?

We all have emotional wounds and when a person says something that hits us right where our wound is, we crumble and we are hurt. But if we begin to say to ourselves, “WAIT! Exactly what part of what they said made ME feel badly? What is my wound?” What I have found is that I DO NOT excuse what has been said to me, but I dig deeply into why it hurt me. I CAN’T change them, but I can certainly change me! This exercise has made my heart happier and more joyful, and I am empowered and stronger because I looked at me.

Let’s GO! WE GOT THIS!
Beth Fitzgerald