Last night, on my Leadership Masterclass, we discussed the ego with our guest speaker, Gary Celli. What I learned was that the ego is something we need to keep in check every day and not in the ways you might think. We think of ego looking like the captain of the football team with his swaggering self-confidence, but the ego doesn’t only show up in the egotistical, it shows up in us too, daily.
Imagine we’re in a meeting and someone questions our decision. Our first reaction might be anger as we think, ‘Why are you questioning me?’ But that’s just our ego. Our ego is all about self-preservation. And ego feeds off of fear; it loves fear, and if fear wasn’t present then the ego would dissolve away. So the ego is both the problem and the solution. In this case, our ego is thinking, ‘Am I wrong? Am I not smart enough for this position? Am I not respected? Am I a fraud?’ Fear. Fear. Fear. But the truth is, someone questioning our decision is always a good thing. Either it confirms we are right, or we get to a better answer. No ego there.
The ego has the capacity to hold us back at every stage. In success, it blinds us to our faults and in failure, it magnifies each blow and makes recovery more difficult. So how do we manage our ego? Look back at the past few days, when were you angry or fearful? Was that your ego performing some form of self preservation? Look at it in the present moment without any need for the ego to “save” you. What’s really happening here? Here are 4 ways to remove the ego:
Defensive. —- Curiosity
Insecurity. —- Authenticity
Excuses. —- Accountability
Perfection. —- Productivity
Let’s GO! WE GOT THIS!
Beth
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