The other day I was on a Zoom call with a client and, like many calls like this, we started talking about the behavior of one of his peers at work. The best way to describe his colleagues was to say that he was acting like a bully—”My way or the highway,” kind of behavior—you know the type, right? They tend to be really hard to navigate.

But like any bad behavior, we decided to dig in deeper and to not accept what we saw at first glance as the whole story. What we concluded was that under all of this perhaps false bravado and overly confident behavior was most likely a very fear-driven individual. We deduced this because he’s a relatively new hire with other mitigating factors. My client looks at this colleague very differently now when he stopped seeing the overconfident bully and started seeing the fearful child. What you see isn’t always what you get—sorry Flip Wilson.

Let’s take a moment to look around. Whose behavior isn’t exactly enjoyable? Do you have a bully in your life? Or someone who is simply making your life challenging? What we see at first glance, with behavior like this, is rarely the only thing at play. How do you think my client will handle this situation differently now that he knows he’s dealing with a colleague who is filled with fear, NOT an overly confident bully? It changes everything. We just found the back door, and it’s way easier to enter than continuing to bang on the front door. Do you see it?

Let’s GO! WE GOT THIS!
Beth