“The first stage of learning is silence, the second stage is listening.” —Solomon ibn Gabirol (this is an adaptation of a larger quote).

If you know me personally, even just a little bit, you know that I talk a lot! Some would argue, myself included, too much! But you might be surprised to learn that I really love to listen. I dramatically improved my listening skills 10 years ago when I became a coach. To be a good coach you have to be able to listen intently, and you have to “hear” what is not being said. I’m usually exhausted after a coaching session because I listened with so much intensity.

“You cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time.” – M. Scott Peck

People can be really challenging—even the ones we love the most. We get frustrated and our knee-jerk reaction is to wax on about them and what they did or did not do. But what if we listened better, without necessarily trying to fix things? What if we tried to hear what was not being said?

“If you make listening and observation your occupation, you will gain much more than you can by talk.”­ – Robert Baden-Powell

One of our action steps today is definitely to be a better listener for all the reasons listed above, especially the wisdom shared from these eye-opening quotes. Another action step will be to look at your biggest relationship challenge (at work or at home) and ask yourself, “What am I missing? What did they not say and what did I not hear?” Talking isn’t necessarily the helpful part, listening is. We aren’t always there to fix things (this is where I need to repeat this to myself over and over again). Saying, “I hear you. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. How can I help?” That’s the million dollar answer!

Let’s GO! WE GOT THIS!
Beth Fitzgerald